Not to be a complete turd about calling myself a comedian but then not performing much, and also dangling the idea of returning to the stage after 18 months with my solo sketch characters a-blazing buuuuuut…

I don’t want to perform anymore and I’m transitioning from comedy to Sci-Fi & Horror.

…Balloons…

Performing is something I only ever did because I liked writing the monologues and making the costumes. (That’s not really true. There have been more reasons than that but stick with me for now.) Furthermore, I did my first solo sketch show after a year and a half last week and while I went through the motions and got some laughs, I kinda just wasn’t feeling it.

The solo bits I wrote two years ago were done while I was a performer at The Annoyance Theatre & Bar which encourages all forms of depravity as an art-form. The result is that I have a backlog of material written by my inner shit demon, and now I feel my voice as a comedian is out of place outside of the specific-ness of the Chicago community.

It’s been a challenge to reconcile the fact that I could be a strong performer, and I could take it further, but I don’t want to, and I’m not going to because it’s way too far out of my flow state.

After experimenting for 15 years I know how hard it is to stave off living in survival mode so that you can be creative. With such limited time and resources I think it’s best to live in alignment with my introverted temperament and preference for writing.

I mean I could try to write family friendly material and leave the tranquility of my PJs to perform for comedy audiences -or- I could change my medium from comedy to Sci-Fi & Horror and naturally attract an audience who wants to be blasted with the cum rags of my soul’s inner truck stop (AKA my art). I feel like making the switch is sensible at this time.

Thanks for reading!

Jessica

Next blog post- Tuesday.

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